Voice within me.

In 10 days time, Baby Calista will be 2 months old. I am perhaps one of the most relax mother on earth because my baby is now well taken care by my nanny from PEM Confinement Agency.

Since the day of Baby Calista's arrival, friends and colleagues even my massage lady has been asking me not to carry her often (that includes carrying her and letting her sleep in my arms). I forbid myself from doing so the whole family could sleep through the night without having anyone to carry her.

However, my mil continues to carry her despite me telling her not to do so. To be honest, I was really frustrated but I couldn't flare out because I love her alot. She treats me so much better than my blood parents. She loves me as much as how she loves her only son, my husband. Sometimes my husband will be like "I think I got married into "your" family, my parents love you more than they love me.". I am really very grateful and I really appreciate everything that my parent-in-laws had gaven me. I could proudly say I have the best in-laws in the universe.

Before flying off to Hong Kong last Thursday. I broke down and cried because I felt I was a bad mother. I wanted to spend time and carry my baby before flying off but there again, my mil was carrying my baby to sleep. I cried and told my husband about it. I'm not trying to complain but I really need someone there to voice out my feelings.

I came to an understanding that since baby is used to carrying to sleep, I will just go with the flow and let my mil carry as and when she wants.

About 2 weeks ago, I came across this article of changing baby's sleeping habits. What they do is, during the day time.. they will not allow baby to sleep more than 3 hours. If he/she is sleeping, they will wake him/her up and feed. But during the night, they will allow baby to sleep as long as he/she wants. By doing this, baby can also differentiate both day & night time. So yes, I told my nanny and mil about this and they agreed to follow my preferred way.

Initially, my mil couldn't not bare to wake babygirl up in the day time as she feels this is heartbreaking because baby is sleeping soundly. I explained to her my way of doing so she heed to my advice.

I also told her to on the volume of the tv louder in the day so baby will get used to environments with noise and will not be affected with any sound when asleep. This alsol will let baby know that day time has sounds whereas night time doesn't. So one fine day, I went into her room because she always carries baby to her room and sleep in the day and realise the sound of the tv was very soft. I then asked her to increase the volume of the tv, she said "Huh? But I scared the sound will make baby awake.". So I explained to her my way of doing again, she then on the volume of the tv.

Earlier on at around 830pm, I went to look for my baby in the living room as she sleeps in the play pen beside my nanny's and helper's room. She wasn't there so I went to my mil room. Baby was asleep in her arms, the lights and the tv volume were both on. I was angry but still I spoke to her in a nice tone to bring baby back to the play pen and let her sleep there. My mil reluctantly brought baby over and said "Later she wake up how?". In my mind I was like, See? This is what we are facing now, once baby is being placed back on the bed, she will start to cry because she wants people to carry her. So I told my mil "It's ok, just place her back to her play pen.". Nanny came out of the bathroom and baby was crying for milk so my maid went to make milk for baby. I told my nanny not to allow my mil to carry baby in her own room during the night because there will be lights and sound. This will defeat the purpose of me trying to change baby's sleeping habits.

Aftermath, I went into my mil's room and explain to her. She defensively said "I forgot to switch off the light and turn off the volume. Usually I will switch off...". I knew she was not really happy so I said "It's ok, next time if you want to carry baby just to it in the living room as there will be no lights.".

I know she loves Baby Calista a lot. She may not be the first grandchild because my husband was previously a divorcee. He has a 10 year old daughter but the time spent with my parent-in-laws were very minimal. When her daughter was born 10 years ago, she stayed at his ex-inlaws place. My parents-in-law didn't even carried her at all, thus when baby is born.. my mil carried her non-stop and that's when she finally feels she's a grandma.

When my husband was born, my mil didn't really manage to carry him. She had C-section as my husband's head kept turning back on top. When my mil carry him, the stitches burst and she was not allowed to carry him from then on. My husband was very easy to look after because they could only feed him and after burping.. they will put him back to his cot and sleep throughout til the next feed.

I hope my mil understands that's the reason why my husband is so easy to look after when he was a baby. It's because nobody carries him... however it's too late. Baby is now used to hugs and will not sleep alone in the cot if no one carries her. I know you love us and wants the best for us. I, myself, too wants the best for our family. The nanny is currently here thus we are all sitting back feeling relaxed. next month when the nanny leaves and when I go back to work. How? The whole family will be tired, we will be taking turns to carry and look after the baby at night. I definitely don't want to tire you out besides daddy will surely be unable to take it. He needs at least 8 hours of continuous sleep.

I no longer want to forbid anyone from carrying the baby but please help me by switching and changing her sleeping habits. It will do good for the whole family. Mummy, I want the best for my daughter too. I am very thankful of getting married into the family, I feel loved from Ernest, Daddy and yourself. Thus I really don't want to tire any of you after the nanny is gone. Please understand where I'm coming from. I love you mummy, I really do. Thank you for showering all your love on us includng girlgirl.